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Today,seems juz a relaxing day to relieve all the pressure from the days when I'm in school seems exaggerating but a lot of things have been evolving around me which really tears me down into pieces,don't really know the reason in my existence at times?It's not that I'm thinking of committing suicide but sometimes I'll feel I've have no objectives in life at this point it may seem like I'm too pessimistic over life or obstacles,but as the saying goes "when you give up before the fight,you have already lost the battle".
It may seems like a very plain word,but when u ponder upon these words it really does reflect on the certain decisions you make in life which will affect your life in which you can't imagine.On 27/2/2004(the day which many won't forget) is the release of 'O' level results,really feel very disappointed as the loads of pressure have already started cause last years batch have done badly and the ranking has already been lowered due to the fact that many of the students scored points which is so outrageous that they can't go even anywhere.
How does it sounds?Pathetic it seems but the expectation and the pressure has already started due to the results can't blame no one but ourselves I think,there are no such thing as "free things in the world" right?We need to work hard for it and not juz wait and expect things to happen by itself.
At this point of time,I feel so bored talking about studies,studies and more Studies will be always the same topic mention and I get sick sometimes,I'm definitely am.But there's only one thing I can say for this year is that, I can only concentrate on my studies and nothing else other then studies, other things not related to academic studies does not mean is not important to me.To me the most important thing is to study real hard and get good results to atone for me wasting of 1 year(retain).It's really a torture to see all your good friends graduating when I have to see all the 'shitty' people so to speak,their thinking is so childish that even a 3year-old kid could understand but not me.It's not I'm putting on air that i'm older than them or smarter,but it's just that sometimes I will sit back and think about the significance in jokes or craps.
Maybe it's the process of speeding time and enjoying the times in school but seriously,wat's the point when you could not even laugh at the slightest jokes/craps.What do you gain from it when all you can do is to sit there and hear all the unrewarding things.Sometimes I have the urge in being alone and just withdraw myself from this crappy world and getting on with my life.It's really difficult but the only thing I can do at the moment is look straight ahead,and forget about all the things that is pulling me down.

Thoughts of the day:
Crisis defines life

It is by going through a crisis that's when you really discover what kind of a person you really are.

[[Last Wrote]]*|9:01 AM|

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

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Friends,what are friends?Now this word is such a stranger to me that horrifies me.Having friends is like a competition,if you don't keep up with them you will lose them.Be it self-pity,despo(desperate) or a slacker.Even though the words may look ordinary to you but it have a deep impact on me,i feel so betrayed with this words.
In a way,i feel no sense of trust within people anymore.Why the level of trust is always 'destroyed'?

Thoughts of the day:
1.)Your emotions are your inner guidance system....You have,within you, the power to create a life of joy,abundance ,and health,or you have the same ability to create a life filled with stress,fatigue,and disease.With every few exceptions,the choice is yours.

--Chrisiane Notrthrup--

2.)We know the truth not only by reason but also by the heart

--Blaise Pascal--

[[Last Wrote]]*|4:10 AM|

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

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Today seems quite a boring day...blah blah blah...fail my humanities test even with the effort of studying.Feel like such a waste on my humanities test,seriously i think i can do better.
Envying people has always been my bad points,sometimes really hate this habit of mine.Haha but wat to do it's always me,myself and I.Recently,feel the sense of loss in my goals.Trying hard to obtain my goal and keeping on track of things that will affect my happiness,but what to do.As what people say "it's part and parcel of life".Failure is a part of making us stronger that's what teachers or friends advice me to.
Sometimes really it's hard to abide by this things.People will always admire those who can achieve and feel oneself that they can't be like the people who's scoring A1's like nobody's business?!Why?These thoughts come in,cuz of envy and pessimistic thoughts that pull us down in all circumstances;be it academically or relationship wise.

Thoughts of the day :
By starving emotions we become humorless,rigid,and stereotyped;by repressing them we become literal,reformatory and holier-than-thou;encouraged they perfume life;discouraged,they poison it

--Joseph Collins--

[[Last Wrote]]*|2:36 AM|

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

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seems such a refreshing day for me.Don't really know the reason why but feel a "bubbles of happiness" surrounding me the whole day.Forget about guys I tell myself it's nice to fantasize having one better literally having a partner.I have many friends whose bf control them until i feel sympathetic for her or him.
Life is so funny,when u don't have a bf u hope to have one,but when u have u hope to be free.Sometimes life is so ridiculous at times that i find it is outrageously funny.

Thoughts of the day:

It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances.
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget
are the things which we most need to talk about...
I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things...
I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...
but with the love and support of friends - you survive...
I've learned that when you start feeling BaD
about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost!
They too, are feeling the same way....

[[Last Wrote]]*|2:04 AM|